The lights are on but I'm not at home ....

II've written this blog at least three times already and I keep getting stuck. Maybe that's for the best as I have been a little stressed out lately. I'm not sure if its just the summer blues,.. Or if I'm just taking on too much, but I decided to try and shake it off. I was asked the other day what my plans were for Fourth of July..  I replied I don't know and that was the truth. I'm not sure what I want to do... My children want to watch fireworks and have a great time ... Truth is that is going to be tough. I am not feeling very pomp and circumstance ish. I'm very excited about our nation and independence and freedom and fireworks... I'm so grateful for every step I take in our homes kept safe by the brave and strong... But I'm sad. I'm so sad. All I can think about it that care package I've been trying to put together for my brother who's with our army in Afghanistan right now and wondering how he is... if its too hot... if he is feeling ok...  and when he'll come home. I miss seeing my family gathered for the holiday, my parents, my grandparents, my brothers and sister, cousins ..... all the guys excited to blow things up and the ladies in the kitchen getting all our favorite Puerto Rican dishes ready. My grandpa shaking his head about his grass getting burnt and my grama serving up that one spoonful too many my Mom and Dadda playing with the grand kids I miss that even though it was ages ago and everyone lives all over the US .... I just miss it. My grams is having surgery next week, one of my bestie is outta town, My husband works every holiday and I guess I'm just feeling like a dud. Oh we'll. there's lots of stuff to do in SA Texas so I gotta pump up the fun for the kids somehow even though I feel like crawling into a little hole until its over  ;)